i hate this feeling.

im upset. and i hate myself...
i dont know what i want!
i fucking hate this feeling.
both hands are holding on..
i have to let go..
I hate to let go..
why are you pulling me ? when all youre gonna do is push me .. and spit me out ?
why wont u let me walk away...youre the one who dumped me! i told you, to not do this to me .. i told you, youre just gonna confuse and hurt me more.
youre hurting me so much right now.
and
I dont
even
know
what
I want

because
when i told you
I liked another guy.
you tell me.. you just have to tell me those three words..
yet..
you tell me.
you dont know ..
youre selfish ! .... did you know that? YOURE SELFISH. i was like. your dirty little secret.
and I still am. and im not even yours.
I'm like your dirty little secret.
I dont wanna do this anymore .

I like someone. and I hate myself for getting in this situation. i hate myself so much.. because I know. inevitably, im just going to hurt myself.
when I think, justwhen I think im over you. you have to pull me back and tell me things, i shouldnt hear...
you dont know
how
much
it hurts
to
pretend
to
smile
and pretend
im okay.
and pretend what you did to me.
was okay.

i cant even tell you .. what I want to say. cos i cant even express what u are doing to me . you dont even see it yourself.